I have them, so what happens to them? Why do they sometimes stay so passive as if my blood doesn’t flow all the way to my fingers? There is a difference between a stretched and a loose arm. That’s pretty obvious and i think i know it, so why can’t i also integrate it in my movement? Is there a difference between when i am performing and when i am not? Do i forget these things once i stand in front of an audience or am i just not able to sense the tonus and form of some parts of my body, especially my arms? It’s all a bit frustrating on one hand, on the other hand now i know i (still) have something to work on.

What an exciting discovery. Have you ever asked yourself how do you use your arms? What do you do with them? Do you pull yourself forward? Pull things to you? Do you stretch them? tense them? let them hang to the sides of your body? Are they making you heavier or do they carry you forward? Or both? If nobody has ever told you, then i am happy to do it: Your arms are yours! Both of them! You can do with them whatever you want. When you walk, stand, dance… Try it: shake them, throw them, throw yourself with them, stretch them and follow them as long as you can, spiral with them and see where they take you, let them hang and move and see how it feels.

[Thoughts after Bettina’s class, at bewegungs-art]

I don’t know why it came into my mind right now. I just recall some conversation a long time ago where the main topic was whether people can change or not. I remember someone (i think it was a woman or a girl) had a strong opinion about this, namely that people can not change. Maybe this conversation was in some movie that i watched? Of course i am thinking: this probably comes into my mind because i am asking myself if i can change. But on second thought i think i am not really asking myself whether i can change but rather i observe myself changing and i am trying to take a stand regarding to this observation. How should i feel about this? Can i believe and accept this obvservation and even share this with other people? Or is my mind playing tricks on me and do i fall into my own trap when i tell myself that i have changed?

But it really seems to me quite limiting to think that people cannot change. No matter what the “answer” to this question is, i think it’s more useful to believe that change is possible. I guess also the question one has to ask is what is change? If someone has some pattern that they are stuck with for their whole life, can there still be a change even if this pattern never stops? An insight is a change, isn’t it? Becoming aware of something opens some possibilities: perhaps the possibility of choice – doing something or not doing it, and if not then maybe other possibilities, like realising your own actions and their consequences…

Time to bring back some life to my undernourished blog…

I am here in Freiburg, and so is autumn. Even if the colors are not quite here yet and the leaves still think they can stay hanging on their trees forever, it’s here. Herbst in German, like harvest. And the generosity of nature is felt everywhere. Apples, plums, pears, berries, nuts and flowers.

Here is today’s catch: